Smart Water - Dumb Girls

TRUE STORY

I worry about the future. Not just my future, but the future of humanity in general. The conversation I overheard the other day between two older teenage girls does nothing to calm my fears.

Girl 1: Hey Heather, have you tried that 'Smart Water'  stuff yet?
Girl 2: No, why?
Girl 1: 'Cause Brittany did the other day and she was all like, " Oh my God this stuff really works I totally think I'm smarter."
Girl 2: Oh my God are you serious? (giggles)
Girl 1: I know right? I was like, "Seriously Brittany??? You don't get smarter after one bottle! It takes more than that!! I mean, I think you have to drink like at least three or five or something."

This is our future...

We're still alive!

I know it has been forever since my last blog and for that I am deeply sorry.

Ok not really...

 

Life happens and people get busy. For me the blog was put on the 'Things to do at a later date' list. I think it fell somewhere after clean baseboards but before clean top of the fridge. Although I'm not really sure because the list was lost amongst a stack of papers which I am fairly certain was included as a task on the to-do-list titled 'Sort unmanageable mound of papers before it spontaneously creates a life of its own and proceeds to walk off with all identifiable information thus causing an inexplicable case of identity theft' ... most likely that task was near the bottom of the list.

 

So to recap the last 5 months:

Boy 1:

 

• Dioramas, test scores and report cards - yep he's a genius!

• Voted most artistic in his class, received multiple citizenship awards

• Goodbye TaeKwonDo. Hello guitar

• Braces in the near future

 

Boy 2:

 

• Field trips and class parties

• Voted best sense of humor (class clown) and insanely high math scores - That's The Brain's side of the family

• Lost 5 teeth - one at school - stepped on and crushed, one in a chicken sandwich - swallowed, one in a pool - never found it, two at home.

• Now convinced that I am the tooth fairy

• TaeKwonDo is on hold for the summer

• Wants to play the drums

 

Both boys will be going to summer camp (day camp) for two weeks. Swimming, canoeing, archery, hiking, I wish I could go!

The Brain:

• Work
• House Work
• Work
•  House Work

 Me:

• Finals and projects - 4.0 still
• Laundry
• New furnace = Several days in the southern summer with no AC
• Laundry
• My big baby - our Great pyrenees - was attacked by a pit bull - Thankfully he is doing much better
• Laundry
• Currently getting ready to go to my favorite place on earth
• which means I am doing ... laundry 

So that's it I think. 'Ya know it really doesn't seem like that much but I swear it has felt like an ever present whirlwind of activity around here.
I pledge to be a better blogger from here on out. Seriously, I mean it!

 

 

 

Tortilla Love

I don't know why or how it happened, but the boys and I started talking about having girlfriends and wives the other day. It was interesting/humorous/ and slightly scary to see how they viewed romantic relationships.

First off, Boy1 adamantly stated that he will require any potential girlfriend to fill out a survey or application before even considering a relationship. Why waste your time I guess...

Top 5 Boy1 potential girlfriend qualifications:
1) Must like soccer.
2) Must like music and be cool with him playing in a band.
3) Must not be taller than he is. (or bigger in any way - he's on the small side)
4) Must be smart.
5) Must like tacos - This is very important!!

After hearing this idea Boy 2 made his own list:
1) Has to like corn dogs and not make him eat vegetables.
2) Can't be smarter than he is.
3) Must like scary movies.
4) Must have blond or blondish brown hair.
5) Must like video games.

Somehow the topic of kissing came up. God help me!

Boy1: I am not kissing her.
Boy2: You have to, it's the LAW!
Boy1: NOT ON THE FIRST DATE!!! Maybe after 878,000 dates...
Boy2: No, not then, on your wedding day!!!
Boy1: Oh yeah, well, that's the only time then!
Me: So, once your married you're not going to kiss your wife?
Boy1: Ok... As long as we have tacos at least 3 times a month I'll kiss her.
Boy2: That seems about right.
Me: Let me get this straight...If your wife makes you tacos 3 times a month, then you'll kiss her?
Boy1: Oh no! She doesn't have to make them...They just have to be in my belly 3 times a month. She can go to Taco Bell if she wants...

God help us all...