River City Carwash in a Can

I really like the owners and employees at the gas station closest to my house. However, they have recently started allowing people to sell that ‘waterless carwash-in-a-can’ stuff in front of the store.

This annoys me. OK, the selling of the crap doesn’t annoy me...the incessant stupidity of the sales people annoys me.

As someone who has been mugged in a parking lot, the last thing I want is for some strange man to either follow me to my car or startle me while I’m pumping gas.

And I really hate it when I politely say, “No thank you” or “I’m not interested” and they continue to assault me with their insanely bad hard sales tactics.

Today enough was enough…

I pulled up to the store and there was the table elaborately set with a 3 foot tall pyramid of waterless carwash-in-a-can cans. I closed my eyes and sighed…here we go again. Maybe if I don’t make eye contact they will see that I am in no mood to dance this little dance today and leave me alone.

I got out of the car; eyes forward, head up, shoulders back, and made a bee line into the store.

I made it!

Now I have to leave…head up, eyes forward…almost to the car… and what do I hear behind me???

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Excuse me young lady, before you go would you like to...”

Me: not turning around, “No thank you”

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Are you sure? Today we have blah blah blah garble garble crap“

ME: Now turning around, “I’m not interested thank you”

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “But… blah blah gibberish glibberish globberish gluberish”

Now he is standing in front of my car. That’s it I’m done…

ME: “See if I was interested I would have stopped at your table when I walked by, that’s how that works!”

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Actually that’s not how it works!”

ME: “RIGHT! You are a marketing and sales genius! That’s why you’re peddling crap in front of a gas station!”

It may be time to find a new gas station.

(No, I don't live in River City - Look up The Music Man)

Smart Water - Dumb Girls

TRUE STORY

I worry about the future. Not just my future, but the future of humanity in general. The conversation I overheard the other day between two older teenage girls does nothing to calm my fears.

Girl 1: Hey Heather, have you tried that 'Smart Water'  stuff yet?
Girl 2: No, why?
Girl 1: 'Cause Brittany did the other day and she was all like, " Oh my God this stuff really works I totally think I'm smarter."
Girl 2: Oh my God are you serious? (giggles)
Girl 1: I know right? I was like, "Seriously Brittany??? You don't get smarter after one bottle! It takes more than that!! I mean, I think you have to drink like at least three or five or something."

This is our future...

We're still alive!

I know it has been forever since my last blog and for that I am deeply sorry.

Ok not really...

 

Life happens and people get busy. For me the blog was put on the 'Things to do at a later date' list. I think it fell somewhere after clean baseboards but before clean top of the fridge. Although I'm not really sure because the list was lost amongst a stack of papers which I am fairly certain was included as a task on the to-do-list titled 'Sort unmanageable mound of papers before it spontaneously creates a life of its own and proceeds to walk off with all identifiable information thus causing an inexplicable case of identity theft' ... most likely that task was near the bottom of the list.

 

So to recap the last 5 months:

Boy 1:

 

• Dioramas, test scores and report cards - yep he's a genius!

• Voted most artistic in his class, received multiple citizenship awards

• Goodbye TaeKwonDo. Hello guitar

• Braces in the near future

 

Boy 2:

 

• Field trips and class parties

• Voted best sense of humor (class clown) and insanely high math scores - That's The Brain's side of the family

• Lost 5 teeth - one at school - stepped on and crushed, one in a chicken sandwich - swallowed, one in a pool - never found it, two at home.

• Now convinced that I am the tooth fairy

• TaeKwonDo is on hold for the summer

• Wants to play the drums

 

Both boys will be going to summer camp (day camp) for two weeks. Swimming, canoeing, archery, hiking, I wish I could go!

The Brain:

• Work
• House Work
• Work
•  House Work

 Me:

• Finals and projects - 4.0 still
• Laundry
• New furnace = Several days in the southern summer with no AC
• Laundry
• My big baby - our Great pyrenees - was attacked by a pit bull - Thankfully he is doing much better
• Laundry
• Currently getting ready to go to my favorite place on earth
• which means I am doing ... laundry 

So that's it I think. 'Ya know it really doesn't seem like that much but I swear it has felt like an ever present whirlwind of activity around here.
I pledge to be a better blogger from here on out. Seriously, I mean it!