River City Carwash in a Can

I really like the owners and employees at the gas station closest to my house. However, they have recently started allowing people to sell that ‘waterless carwash-in-a-can’ stuff in front of the store.

This annoys me. OK, the selling of the crap doesn’t annoy me...the incessant stupidity of the sales people annoys me.

As someone who has been mugged in a parking lot, the last thing I want is for some strange man to either follow me to my car or startle me while I’m pumping gas.

And I really hate it when I politely say, “No thank you” or “I’m not interested” and they continue to assault me with their insanely bad hard sales tactics.

Today enough was enough…

I pulled up to the store and there was the table elaborately set with a 3 foot tall pyramid of waterless carwash-in-a-can cans. I closed my eyes and sighed…here we go again. Maybe if I don’t make eye contact they will see that I am in no mood to dance this little dance today and leave me alone.

I got out of the car; eyes forward, head up, shoulders back, and made a bee line into the store.

I made it!

Now I have to leave…head up, eyes forward…almost to the car… and what do I hear behind me???

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Excuse me young lady, before you go would you like to...”

Me: not turning around, “No thank you”

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Are you sure? Today we have blah blah blah garble garble crap“

ME: Now turning around, “I’m not interested thank you”

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “But… blah blah gibberish glibberish globberish gluberish”

Now he is standing in front of my car. That’s it I’m done…

ME: “See if I was interested I would have stopped at your table when I walked by, that’s how that works!”

Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Actually that’s not how it works!”

ME: “RIGHT! You are a marketing and sales genius! That’s why you’re peddling crap in front of a gas station!”

It may be time to find a new gas station.

(No, I don't live in River City - Look up The Music Man)