I really like the owners and employees at the gas station closest to my house. However, they have recently started allowing people to sell that ‘waterless carwash-in-a-can’ stuff in front of the store.
This annoys me. OK, the selling of the crap doesn’t annoy me...the incessant stupidity of the sales people annoys me.
As someone who has been mugged in a parking lot, the last thing I want is for some strange man to either follow me to my car or startle me while I’m pumping gas.
And I really hate it when I politely say, “No thank you” or “I’m not interested” and they continue to assault me with their insanely bad hard sales tactics.
Today enough was enough…
I pulled up to the store and there was the table elaborately set with a 3 foot tall pyramid of waterless carwash-in-a-can cans. I closed my eyes and sighed…here we go again. Maybe if I don’t make eye contact they will see that I am in no mood to dance this little dance today and leave me alone.
I got out of the car; eyes forward, head up, shoulders back, and made a bee line into the store.
I made it!
Now I have to leave…head up, eyes forward…almost to the car… and what do I hear behind me???
Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Excuse me young lady, before you go would you like to...”
Me: not turning around, “No thank you”
Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Are you sure? Today we have blah blah blah garble garble crap“
ME: Now turning around, “I’m not interested thank you”
Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “But… blah blah gibberish glibberish globberish gluberish”
Now he is standing in front of my car. That’s it I’m done…
ME: “See if I was interested I would have stopped at your table when I walked by, that’s how that works!”
Carwash-in-a-can Charlatan: “Actually that’s not how it works!”
ME: “RIGHT! You are a marketing and sales genius! That’s why you’re peddling crap in front of a gas station!”
It may be time to find a new gas station.
(No, I don't live in River City - Look up The Music Man)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Smart Water - Dumb Girls
TRUE STORY
I worry about the future. Not just my future, but the future of humanity in general. The conversation I overheard the other day between two older teenage girls does nothing to calm my fears.
Girl 1: Hey Heather, have you tried that 'Smart Water' stuff yet?
Girl 2: No, why?
Girl 1: 'Cause Brittany did the other day and she was all like, " Oh my God this stuff really works I totally think I'm smarter."
Girl 2: Oh my God are you serious? (giggles)
Girl 1: I know right? I was like, "Seriously Brittany??? You don't get smarter after one bottle! It takes more than that!! I mean, I think you have to drink like at least three or five or something."
This is our future...
I worry about the future. Not just my future, but the future of humanity in general. The conversation I overheard the other day between two older teenage girls does nothing to calm my fears.
Girl 1: Hey Heather, have you tried that 'Smart Water' stuff yet?
Girl 2: No, why?
Girl 1: 'Cause Brittany did the other day and she was all like, " Oh my God this stuff really works I totally think I'm smarter."
Girl 2: Oh my God are you serious? (giggles)
Girl 1: I know right? I was like, "Seriously Brittany??? You don't get smarter after one bottle! It takes more than that!! I mean, I think you have to drink like at least three or five or something."
This is our future...
Thursday, June 30, 2011
We're still alive!
I know it has been forever since my last blog and for that I am deeply sorry.
Ok not really...
Life happens and people get busy. For me the blog was put on the 'Things to do at a later date' list. I think it fell somewhere after clean baseboards but before clean top of the fridge. Although I'm not really sure because the list was lost amongst a stack of papers which I am fairly certain was included as a task on the to-do-list titled 'Sort unmanageable mound of papers before it spontaneously creates a life of its own and proceeds to walk off with all identifiable information thus causing an inexplicable case of identity theft' ... most likely that task was near the bottom of the list.
So to recap the last 5 months:
Boy 1:
• Dioramas, test scores and report cards - yep he's a genius!
Boy 2:
• Field trips and class parties
Both boys will be going to summer camp (day camp) for two weeks. Swimming, canoeing, archery, hiking, I wish I could go!
The Brain:
So that's it I think. 'Ya know it really doesn't seem like that much but I swear it has felt like an ever present whirlwind of activity around here.
I pledge to be a better blogger from here on out. Seriously, I mean it!
Ok not really...
Boy 1:
• Voted most artistic in his class, received multiple citizenship awards
• Goodbye TaeKwonDo. Hello guitar
• Braces in the near future
• Voted best sense of humor (class clown) and insanely high math scores - That's The Brain's side of the family
• Lost 5 teeth - one at school - stepped on and crushed, one in a chicken sandwich - swallowed, one in a pool - never found it, two at home.
• Now convinced that I am the tooth fairy
• TaeKwonDo is on hold for the summer
• Wants to play the drums
The Brain:
- Work
- House Work
- Work
- House Work
Me:
- Finals and projects - 4.0 still
- Laundry
- New furnace = Several days in the southern summer with no AC
- Laundry
- My big baby - our Great pyrenees - was attacked by a pit bull - Thankfully he is doing much better
- Laundry
- Currently getting ready to go to my favorite place on earth
- which means I am doing ... laundry
So that's it I think. 'Ya know it really doesn't seem like that much but I swear it has felt like an ever present whirlwind of activity around here.
I pledge to be a better blogger from here on out. Seriously, I mean it!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tortilla Love
I don't know why or how it happened, but the boys and I started talking about having girlfriends and wives the other day. It was interesting/humorous/ and slightly scary to see how they viewed romantic relationships.
First off, Boy1 adamantly stated that he will require any potential girlfriend to fill out a survey or application before even considering a relationship. Why waste your time I guess...
Top 5 Boy1 potential girlfriend qualifications:
1) Must like soccer.
2) Must like music and be cool with him playing in a band.
3) Must not be taller than he is. (or bigger in any way - he's on the small side)
4) Must be smart.
5) Must like tacos - This is very important!!
After hearing this idea Boy 2 made his own list:
1) Has to like corn dogs and not make him eat vegetables.
2) Can't be smarter than he is.
3) Must like scary movies.
4) Must have blond or blondish brown hair.
5) Must like video games.
Somehow the topic of kissing came up. God help me!
Boy1: I am not kissing her.
Boy2: You have to, it's the LAW!
Boy1: NOT ON THE FIRST DATE!!! Maybe after 878,000 dates...
Boy2: No, not then, on your wedding day!!!
Boy1: Oh yeah, well, that's the only time then!
Me: So, once your married you're not going to kiss your wife?
Boy1: Ok... As long as we have tacos at least 3 times a month I'll kiss her.
Boy2: That seems about right.
Me: Let me get this straight...If your wife makes you tacos 3 times a month, then you'll kiss her?
Boy1: Oh no! She doesn't have to make them...They just have to be in my belly 3 times a month. She can go to Taco Bell if she wants...
God help us all...
First off, Boy1 adamantly stated that he will require any potential girlfriend to fill out a survey or application before even considering a relationship. Why waste your time I guess...
Top 5 Boy1 potential girlfriend qualifications:
1) Must like soccer.
2) Must like music and be cool with him playing in a band.
3) Must not be taller than he is. (or bigger in any way - he's on the small side)
4) Must be smart.
5) Must like tacos - This is very important!!
After hearing this idea Boy 2 made his own list:
1) Has to like corn dogs and not make him eat vegetables.
2) Can't be smarter than he is.
3) Must like scary movies.
4) Must have blond or blondish brown hair.
5) Must like video games.
Somehow the topic of kissing came up. God help me!
Boy1: I am not kissing her.
Boy2: You have to, it's the LAW!
Boy1: NOT ON THE FIRST DATE!!! Maybe after 878,000 dates...
Boy2: No, not then, on your wedding day!!!
Boy1: Oh yeah, well, that's the only time then!
Me: So, once your married you're not going to kiss your wife?
Boy1: Ok... As long as we have tacos at least 3 times a month I'll kiss her.
Boy2: That seems about right.
Me: Let me get this straight...If your wife makes you tacos 3 times a month, then you'll kiss her?
Boy1: Oh no! She doesn't have to make them...They just have to be in my belly 3 times a month. She can go to Taco Bell if she wants...
God help us all...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Snow Day... err... Week
So we have been snowed/iced in for about a week now.
This is how it's been at our house:
Sunday: Also known as Boy 1's Bday, the snow started. We got about 5".
Monday: School's Cancelled!! YAY! Let's play in the snow!!
Tuesday: School - cancelled - Yippee! Movie Day! Time to put that NetFlix subscription to good use!
Wednesday: Still no school...woohoo...... This is when The Brain realizes that I have never seen "The Shining" and decides to remedy this tragic situation. Have you ever seen this movie? Family is essentially snowed in for the winter and the husband goes crazy and tries to kill everyone...Great!
Thursday: Still...no school - 7 hours of Monopoly
Friday: Boys have been fighting all day! But now the roads are better and we just might make it out alive!
On another note: I have 2 quizzes on Tuesday for a class I haven't been to yet nor do I even have the book for! Absolutely splendid I say.
This is how it's been at our house:
Sunday: Also known as Boy 1's Bday, the snow started. We got about 5".
Monday: School's Cancelled!! YAY! Let's play in the snow!!
Tuesday: School - cancelled - Yippee! Movie Day! Time to put that NetFlix subscription to good use!
Wednesday: Still no school...woohoo...... This is when The Brain realizes that I have never seen "The Shining" and decides to remedy this tragic situation. Have you ever seen this movie? Family is essentially snowed in for the winter and the husband goes crazy and tries to kill everyone...Great!
Thursday: Still...no school - 7 hours of Monopoly
Friday: Boys have been fighting all day! But now the roads are better and we just might make it out alive!
On another note: I have 2 quizzes on Tuesday for a class I haven't been to yet nor do I even have the book for! Absolutely splendid I say.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Hit and Run
Yesterday I was involved in a hit and run, hence the title of this post, and no I was not the hitter, I was the hitee.
It was minor, just a little damage to my bumper. The lady was driving a Uhaul and towing another vehicle when she sideswiped my rear end in a Wendys parking lot. She then stopped at a gas station adjacent to where I was parked. Not knowing exactly how to handle the situation, I called The Brain and he promptly drove up to where we were and explained to the woman that she had hit me. He was really nice about the whole thing, a lot more so than I would have been. Of course she denied it. In fact she acted as though she knew nothing - like nothing at all. It was as though she had never driven a vehicle before and had possibly even been born in the very spot she now stood. I think at one point she even said she didn't know his wife or anyone named Wendy! When he explained that yes she did hit my car, possibly without knowing due to the size of the vehicle she was in, and that we needed to exchange information because the police where on the way to take the report, she jumped in her vehicle saying something like, " Oh that lady? Damn!" and drove off. The Brain was still in his truck so he followed her and took pictures of her tag.
Did I tell you that my insurance company is scary AWESOME (at least right now - will hold final judgement until this whole mess is over)? Well they are! USAA is the best! I called them and explained the situation and in less than 2 hours they know who she is. Or at least who the vehicle in tow belongs to. As of now my financial liability is zero - again withholding final verdict....
The police officer was great too! I know that this is a minor thing and he probably has more important things to do, but never once did he make me feel as though I was wasting his time! I think he may have even taken the matter more seriously than we did.
But mostly: The Brain is my hero, my prince, my knight in shining armour. This is not the first time he has rushed to my rescue. He is amazing and I love him so incredibly much!
I'm not mad that the woman hit my car. I'm not mad that she denied it, that's what you do. I'm mad that she drove off. OK maybe mad is too strong of a word...disappointed???
It was minor, just a little damage to my bumper. The lady was driving a Uhaul and towing another vehicle when she sideswiped my rear end in a Wendys parking lot. She then stopped at a gas station adjacent to where I was parked. Not knowing exactly how to handle the situation, I called The Brain and he promptly drove up to where we were and explained to the woman that she had hit me. He was really nice about the whole thing, a lot more so than I would have been. Of course she denied it. In fact she acted as though she knew nothing - like nothing at all. It was as though she had never driven a vehicle before and had possibly even been born in the very spot she now stood. I think at one point she even said she didn't know his wife or anyone named Wendy! When he explained that yes she did hit my car, possibly without knowing due to the size of the vehicle she was in, and that we needed to exchange information because the police where on the way to take the report, she jumped in her vehicle saying something like, " Oh that lady? Damn!" and drove off. The Brain was still in his truck so he followed her and took pictures of her tag.
Did I tell you that my insurance company is scary AWESOME (at least right now - will hold final judgement until this whole mess is over)? Well they are! USAA is the best! I called them and explained the situation and in less than 2 hours they know who she is. Or at least who the vehicle in tow belongs to. As of now my financial liability is zero - again withholding final verdict....
The police officer was great too! I know that this is a minor thing and he probably has more important things to do, but never once did he make me feel as though I was wasting his time! I think he may have even taken the matter more seriously than we did.
But mostly: The Brain is my hero, my prince, my knight in shining armour. This is not the first time he has rushed to my rescue. He is amazing and I love him so incredibly much!
I'm not mad that the woman hit my car. I'm not mad that she denied it, that's what you do. I'm mad that she drove off. OK maybe mad is too strong of a word...disappointed???
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Some days are more productive than others
Yesterday I was on it! I was like freakin' Wonder Woman.
11:00 am - Get dressed - still no ü
- 6:00 am - Wake up, make coffee, let dog out - üüü
- 6:15 am -Wake kids up - ü
- Get boys fed and ready for school on time for the 1st day back after break - ü
- Take a shower - ü
- Pay bills - ü
- 5 million phone calls - ü
- Errands - ü
- Grocery shopping - ü
- Lunch with The Brain - ü
- 2:00-3:00 pm - Pick up kids from school - ü
- Homework/Laundry/dishes - üüü
- 6:00 pm - Dinner on the table - ü
- 8:15 pm - Boys in bed - ü
11:00 am - Get dressed - still no ü
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