Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Nintendo Thumb Generation
The other day I saw a commercial for a new video game. I don't recall whether it was for X-Box, PS3, Wii, or some other new must have system, but for my purposes today it doesn't really matter either way.
I like video games, really I do. I am not a "gamer", no one in my house is either, but we like them well enough.
Since this was a commercial for a collection of video game versions of "family" games, my ears perked up.
Life, ok.
UNO, cool.
Checkers, alright.
Twister, ummm....what????
How in the hell do you play a video game version of freakin' Twister????? Seriously, where is the fun in that? How on Earth can that be the slightest bit fulfilling? Unless you are sprawled out across your living room floor with someones butt in your face, it's not Twister.
Again, I like video games, but I think they have gone a bit far.
We are too (fill in the blank 'cuase I can't think of a word other than pathetic) of a society that we/our kids don't even go outside to play basketball or.... run!
I think if the trend in video games is to be more realistic, then those fishing games should go something like this:
Upon pushing play, you are required to pay $15 real dollars for a fishing license. Then the controller squirts worm guts on your hand while simultaneously stabbing you in the finger. When you cast for the first time your line will get stuck in the tree above you, which may or may not be the exact location of a killer bee hive depending on the level. You will be required to spend 45 min. trying to untangle the line. After successfully casting the second time, you must sit in motionless silence about 30 min. until you are then attacked in the ear by mosquitoes that suddenly appear hovering around your couch. Once you have managed to spray yourself in the eye with bug repellent, you get a bite and reel in the infamous stick fish that has miraculously eaten your bait. Only after 4 hours of game play will you catch a fish. At which point it will have either swallowed the hook or been caught in the eye, either way it is now floating in the water in front of you, taunting you for the remainder of this game.
I like video games, really I do. I am not a "gamer", no one in my house is either, but we like them well enough.
Since this was a commercial for a collection of video game versions of "family" games, my ears perked up.
Life, ok.
UNO, cool.
Checkers, alright.
Twister, ummm....what????
How in the hell do you play a video game version of freakin' Twister????? Seriously, where is the fun in that? How on Earth can that be the slightest bit fulfilling? Unless you are sprawled out across your living room floor with someones butt in your face, it's not Twister.
Again, I like video games, but I think they have gone a bit far.
We are too (fill in the blank 'cuase I can't think of a word other than pathetic) of a society that we/our kids don't even go outside to play basketball or.... run!
I think if the trend in video games is to be more realistic, then those fishing games should go something like this:
Upon pushing play, you are required to pay $15 real dollars for a fishing license. Then the controller squirts worm guts on your hand while simultaneously stabbing you in the finger. When you cast for the first time your line will get stuck in the tree above you, which may or may not be the exact location of a killer bee hive depending on the level. You will be required to spend 45 min. trying to untangle the line. After successfully casting the second time, you must sit in motionless silence about 30 min. until you are then attacked in the ear by mosquitoes that suddenly appear hovering around your couch. Once you have managed to spray yourself in the eye with bug repellent, you get a bite and reel in the infamous stick fish that has miraculously eaten your bait. Only after 4 hours of game play will you catch a fish. At which point it will have either swallowed the hook or been caught in the eye, either way it is now floating in the water in front of you, taunting you for the remainder of this game.
Friday, October 15, 2010
No place for pragmatism
Halloween was always my favorite holiday as a kid. For me it wasn’t about the candy, granted that was a plus, but it was about the dressing up and having the crap scared out of you. I loved costumes and all things ghoulish. All year long I pined for that one day when it was socially acceptable to dress and act like you might possibly be in need of therapy and heavy medication.
My most memorable Halloween was the year my dad made my vampire costume. My father had a flair for the dramatic and thought it would be a great idea to dye my hair red, I of course enthusiastically agreed. (Now would be a good time to tell you that my hair was white blond when I was younger) Having futilely begged my mother for the past 3 years to let me do just that, I should have known that this little experiment would not end well. However, my mother was in another city and I had 48 hours to enjoy my forbidden red hair fruit before all hell broke loose. Which, break loose it did!
I dreamed of the day when I would have children of my own. I would be the cool mom who let them dye their hair with semi-permanent color and helped them create open sores on their face. I would be the coolest mom ever.
Unfortunately, my children have shattered this dream of mine. My kids see this day of most wonderful days a bit differently than I do. For them it’s about the accessories. What can they be that will give them the most usable parts on November 1st?
This logical view of Halloween baffles me.
I want them to want to be zombies with peeling flesh or mad scientists with crazy hair and dark circles under their eyes. But no, this year it’s a ninja (swords, sai’s, throwing stars, etc.) again, and a police man (handcuffs, badge, gun, etc.).
I blame The Brain and all his “practicality” for rubbing off on the boys and turning them in to “sensible” Halloween shoppers.
My most memorable Halloween was the year my dad made my vampire costume. My father had a flair for the dramatic and thought it would be a great idea to dye my hair red, I of course enthusiastically agreed. (Now would be a good time to tell you that my hair was white blond when I was younger) Having futilely begged my mother for the past 3 years to let me do just that, I should have known that this little experiment would not end well. However, my mother was in another city and I had 48 hours to enjoy my forbidden red hair fruit before all hell broke loose. Which, break loose it did!
I dreamed of the day when I would have children of my own. I would be the cool mom who let them dye their hair with semi-permanent color and helped them create open sores on their face. I would be the coolest mom ever.
Unfortunately, my children have shattered this dream of mine. My kids see this day of most wonderful days a bit differently than I do. For them it’s about the accessories. What can they be that will give them the most usable parts on November 1st?
This logical view of Halloween baffles me.
I want them to want to be zombies with peeling flesh or mad scientists with crazy hair and dark circles under their eyes. But no, this year it’s a ninja (swords, sai’s, throwing stars, etc.) again, and a police man (handcuffs, badge, gun, etc.).
I blame The Brain and all his “practicality” for rubbing off on the boys and turning them in to “sensible” Halloween shoppers.
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