Not my "Me Time"

A while back I was talking to another mom friend of mine about the all coveted "Me time".  Her "Me time" included a good book, a glass of whateverstrikesherfancy, and a nice long hot bath. And I admit, I am jealous because I hate baths, not showers, baths.

I really want to like taking baths. On the surface baths seem like oodles of fun. Steamy hot water enveloping me, relaxing every muscle in my entire body, slowly melting away all the stress of the day. A nice glass of wine or ...something. Getting lost in a wonderfully exciting book or simply laying back, closing my eyes and relaxing. It all sounds so magnificent.

But for me a bath has none of the magical stress relieving qualities. For me taking a bath is like sitting in a filthy introspective tension stew. 

The water is always too hot to begin with and seems to pass  through the just right phase in 0.02 seconds on into the way too freakin' cold phase. At which point I have to sit there letting the water out so I can add more hot water, all the while wondering how many gallons of water I am wasting because I can't control bath water temperature. Then there is the refilling of the tub which involves work on my part in order to mix the now lukewarm water and hot water for optimal and uniform bath water temperature.

Assuming I decided to get all fancy and attempt a bubble bath there is now the problem of vanishing bubbles. Without the bubbles I am just sitting in a tub full of mildly warm water staring at my naked self hoping I don't drowned. Because if I do drowned, someone is going to find me butt naked and wrinkly toed in the tub. I don't want that to be The Brain's last vision of me.

And when did that mole get there??

After 10 min of worrying about nakedness, moles, and the cost of water, I start to realize that sitting in a tub of ones own filth is pretty gross. I need a shower. However, since our society has deemed that it is much more desirable, never mind terribly inefficient, to separate showers and tubs, I have to get out of the bath, run over to the shower and turn it on, wait for that water to warm up at least enough for me to get in, all the while standing there freezing and dripping.

This is all, of course, assuming I managed this masochistic exercise without someone knocking on the door asking me where (insert obscure object) is. If that knock doesn't occur then it only means one of two things: 1) It's late and everyone is asleep, a.k.a- I am exhausted. 2) Something most likely very messy is on the other side of the door and I am afraid...very afraid.